For years of my life, I had difficulty starting any new activity that would involve interacting with strangers. It didn’t affect my work life to a great extent, but I was very reluctant to try anything.

Was I shy? I mever really thought of myself as shy, although having googled the term compared with the meaning of introvert, a trait that I do have, it seems that it might be an apt description of me. Performing was never really a problem for me; I remember being involved in school plays as an actor, musician and chorister, and I played drums professionally in my teenage years, although that was along with my father as an organist.

It didn’t just affect singing. I remember having a desire to take up martial arts for years. I ended up joining a group because a work colleague was a member. I made many lasting friendships at the club when I finally went. Of course, I was nervous.

The worst example I can recall was connected with flying. I wanted to learn to fly an aeroplane some time in my 30s, and I did. I flew around 120 hours in total (at the time of writing I haven’t flown for about a decade) and I obtained a private pilot’s licence along with night rating and a rating that allowed me to fly on instruments in the UK. One might have expected that the worst fear I experienced during the training was landing. It was not the case! I felt physically sick before the first time I went to the flying club.

I also wanted to join a choir, as an adult, for years. That didn’t happen until after I transitioned and neither did I join an acting company until afterwards. And the fear of transitioning? Well, that was also scary, but for some reason, not nearly as much as the social anxiety I had, and you might imagine the kind of feelings transitioning conjured up.

How did I get through these? I pushed through and overcame the anxiety. I have to give some credit to the book by Susan Jeffers called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, but at this time I can’t remember exactly what it said. It probably gave me the push to advance through my fears. It’s something to think about; it might help, and if it doesn’t, it was a cheap thing to try.

Aside from Susan’s book, if you have similar fears that stop you from joining a choir or doing something else related to singing, why not book a session with me and we can talk about it? We can have a relaxed, one-to-one chat about where you want to take your singing, what groups you might be interested in joining, and whether it would be right for you to take some lessons at the same time, especially if you feel like you need to have a certain level of singing skill before you join a choir. You haven’t really got anything to lose other than a little bit of your time!

Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best.